How to stick with the date… when he becomes reluctant
How do you stick to the date – when you want him to stay because you think he could be the one?
If you can recognize similar situations where you would like to have more knowledge about what you can do to attract the person you are interested in, here are some tips on how you can handle the stressful situation that meeting a new date.
Perhaps even more important…. how you can avoid thinking afterwards: "Why didn't he just say it right away?"
Read more about how you can handle such vulnerable situations.
When you're interested in a man and feel like there's potential for something more, it can be frustrating if he starts to hold back. But don't despair! There are still actions you can take to maintain the connection and hopefully build a stronger relationship.
Here are some suggestions to help you
The patience phase
Be patient and understanding: When a man becomes reluctant, it can be due to various reasons. It is important to be patient and show understanding. Ask him openly and honestly how he is feeling and be responsive to his feelings and concerns. Let him know that you are there for him and want to find a solution together.
Hold on to your independence
Maintain your own independence: Even if you are interested in him, it is important to maintain your own independence and continue to live your life to the fullest. Continue to pursue your own interests, spend time with friends and family, and continue to be the independent woman he was originally attracted to. This shows that you have your own life and it can make you more attractive and interesting to him.
Video shows, contact, interest presence.
When you meet
When you meet, it is crucial that you bring your feminine energy into play and create a pleasant atmosphere where your date enjoys being together. Be present in the moment, show interest and listen actively, express your femininity and create a relaxed and playful atmosphere. By being authentic and using your feminine energy in a natural way, you contribute to a wonderful dating experience.
Time to communicate
Communicate openly and honestly: Good communication is essential in any relationship. When he becomes reluctant, it is important to open up the conversation and talk about your feelings and expectations. Be honest about your own needs and wants and actively listen to what he has to say. That way you can find out together if there is anything that can be changed or improved to strengthen the connection.
(self-) Confidence
Be yourself and show confidence: It is important to remember that you are a valuable person with a lot to offer. Be authentic and be yourself on the date. Show confidence and that you believe that you deserve to be with a man who is as interested in you as you are in him. If he sees your confidence and strength, it can motivate him to open up more and invest more in the relationship.
A good way to strengthen your confidence is to deal with the situation from the beginning, where you have no idea for months whether he is interested or not. You can ensure yourself that you avoid thinking afterwards: "Why didn't he just say it right away?"
So strengthen your confidence by getting it sorted out: Whether he is genuinely interested in you or not. D
This way you avoid giving up on love afterwards.
Wouldn't it be a pity just because a man has been indecisive?
Happy Love Journey from Life
Would you like to join a community with other women who are also looking for love...
then I will invite you to join my FB group, where you can hear about
How you can believe in love - again.
How much do you have to fight for a relationship?
How much do you have to fight for a relationship?
For many, it is like starting a new life when they decide to -perhaps at long last- find love.
Further doubts arise if love life has been a challenge until now. Here it can seem almost insurmountable to put yourself in the vulnerable situation it can be to seek out love.
Isn't a girlfriend too troublesome?
So why do it? A brave woman, Carina who is in her early 40s, provides some of the answer. She says that she has lived a life full of freedom and self-expression, but now she feels a longing for something deeper. How can she take the step towards finding love and creating a life now that the longing for twoness has become greater than the resistance?
Whenever I asked her what she hoped to achieve by finding a boyfriend, she answered: A better and more supportive network. In addition to the fact that it was very sincerely said, we also agreed that it was a vulnerable starting point to have to find a girlfriend.
Because if the boyfriend were to help her manage her own life, there was a risk of creating an unhealthy dependency – which could quickly turn into a feeling that she had met the wrong person.
When the past blocks
Because she has a history of feeling left out due to bullying, she has a fear of socializing. Therefore, she is well aware that she has to develop the social gene. Not least when it comes to the social, as it is one of the most important ingredients for a good and long-lasting relationship.
How much do you have to fight for a relationship?
For Carina, it was crucial to be able to balance fighting for a relationship with being able to accept the things she is aware of that are beyond her power to change. She sets out to solve this by spending time on getting the social network she dreams of, so that all the energy is not spent on finding the boyfriend.
She participates in the social events, which at first are not experienced as crossing the line.
The people at work she likes and is comfortable with, she takes the initiative to arrange social events with. It's everything from a cozy dinner at home, a picnic in the park, a walk or a joint activity.
By hosting social events herself, she gets to develop her social skills as much as possible, and at the same time as she meets new people, she strengthens existing relationships.
She thinks it's fun and exciting as long as she gets help with it. And she accepts that this is the entrance to a healthy and wonderful long-term relationship.
Create a safe environment
She also finds places and groups where she feels safe and accepted. These are FB groups, support groups, therapy sessions and activities where the focus is on creating a positive and supportive environment.
Development takes time
By doing something to develop the social network herself, she increases her social self-confidence. She even ends up rethinking the experience of not being social and realizes that if the pace isn't too fast, fear won't steal her social skills. She gets to build a nice and supportive network and also increases and finds that her relationship's self-esteem only grows.
Whatever your challenge, you can do the same - at your own pace.
Love Life
Would you like to join a community with other women who are also looking for love...
then I will invite you to join my FB group, where you can hear about
How to go from hating to loving dating How to let go of the past. How you can heal wounds and difficult feelings How you can believe in love - again.
Turn down the pity, auntie: I'll find the right one
Turn down the pity, auntie: I'll find the right one.
Who hasn't come across borderline single experiences, even if they are well-intentioned comments
such as: "You will probably find the right one" or "It happens when you least expect it".
Well-meaning words can sometimes be frustrating and leave us feeling 'too bad'
or as if: 'there is something wrong with me…?
What would it look like if you took control of Auntie's question in your own love life?
Do you want to join the journey?
We explore how you can have a moving perspective and be open to the unexpected paths of love.
Turn down the pity
Turn Down the Pity: When you hear comments like “There's someone out there for you too,” it can sometimes feel like you're being viewed as incomplete or sick. But you are not sick. You are a unique individual with much to offer. How will it not be that embrace your single life as a time with opportunities for self-development and personal growth.
To be an active seeker
If we want to achieve something, it is crucial to go from being passive to being actively seeking. It gives a sense of control (the good and important) you seek for love. This can mean exploring different options, trying new dating methods, or even thinking outside the box and being open to unexpected connections. Who knows, maybe the right person is right in front of you without you even noticing.
Being active can also mean asking aunt if Is your relationship status important to her?
Do you notice the possibilities?
See the possibilities around you. Sometimes love hides in the most surprising places. Maybe in the doctor's waiting room, or you have an attractive doctor who catches your attention. Instead of dismissing the idea as absurd: So why not be open and curious? Perhaps it is precisely here that you can find a contact that goes beyond the usual.
Do you dare to be open?
Be open to surprises When you turn down the pity and open ourselves to new possibilities, it is important to be open to surprises. Love does not always come in the expected form or from the expected source. By embracing the unexpected and being open to new people and experiences, you can expand your horizons and increase your chances of finding the right love.
Ok to set boundaries
The next time you hear the classic comment "You'll probably find the right one", remember to separate yourself from 'auntie'. Embrace your own strength and confidence. You are ok and you don't want pity. You are an independent and attractive person who is able to find the right partner. Let go of doubt and start opening your eyes to the unexpected opportunities that may cross your path.
Let's create a new story together, where you are in control and where love is a natural part of your life. You deserve a meaningful and joyful relationship.
Over 40 and ready for a boyfriend... afraid you don't look good enough?
Do you recognize it too?
You are over 40 and really ready for a relationship, but you are afraid that you don't look good enough?
It means that you fear love based on your appearance.
See how you can nourish love with loving feelings right now.
Previously a hidden problem?
Maybe appearance has always been a problem for you, so see here how you can change your mind
to your strength and more self-awareness.
Thought provoking that I have heard quite a few women say in the last few days
-my appearance is the biggest obstacle, otherwise I'm Boyfriend Ready.
And it is certainly relevant!
I myself have struggled with thinking I should look perfect
to be able to attract the right man.
...then one day I had enough and decided to change that...!
Oh my God, it was hard because I found out that I did just that,
the worst thing you can do to make more men want to get to know me better.
And it was a breakthrough that it had nothing to do with appearance.
The biggest dating killer
The worst trait in a dating situation I had learned was to be: Skeptical!
and I could see that it was much worse than if I weighed 10 kg more or less,
had loose or tight skin.
I saw that in the women the men chose instead of me.
My skepticism left the man with a bad feeling,
and my behavior, gave me neither more strength nor self-insight.
Worst of all
the men felt like getting their legs on their necks.
A change only occurred when I began to find more self-loving ways.
Therefore, you can do nothing better than to use your appearance to
dare love – again. Start with 3 simple ways:
Challenge your thoughts
Notice which negative thoughts pop up the next time you think about your appearance.
Notice in particular whether they are realistic or exaggerated?
Then see what happens when you replace them with more positive and realistic thoughts.
For example, 'if I compare myself to colleagues of the same age, I can see that this is the course of nature.'
Now notice how you then think about yourself…
Are you investing in yourself?
A woman in my network tells me she feels ugly and unloved.
I recognize that when I see her. However, I also see many beautiful basic features.
And took it upon myself to give her a stylist so she gets a different hairstyle and glasses (emoji)
It is often decisive that we also put action behind our thoughts, so in that situation
you can't do something better to feel loved than by spoiling yourself.
Whether it's a trip to the hairdresser, spa or new clothes that make you feel good.
Investing in yourself and your appearance can be a big confidence boost.
Switch! – thoughts
First of all, love is not perfect.
It is the feeling we get inside that makes us want more love.
It can help to accept that you are not perfect.
Most men also have things about their appearance that they are not 100% happy with.
One trick is to avoid comparing yourself to others.
Say: "Change!" every time you compare yourself, especially to those under 40.
Because you will never be 25 again.
So spare yourself the inadequate thoughts and feelings.
By consciously turning your thoughts to
strength and self-awareness.
I myself love to use 'Change', because it gives presence.
If you would like to work on becoming Girlfriend Ready, I will give you the opportunity to participate in my workshop Wed 24/5 2023
And the two best things about it are…
1. It can give you the most beautiful man who wants more than anything to have a woman present who makes him feel amazing!
- It's FREE!
https://livjohns.simplero.com/page/288928
Psst I was told that unfortunately there are many who waste many years getting a lot of good advice, but where the change only happens when we start doing something else, during the ENTIRE dating process. It is not enough to simply create a dating profile - which looks like everyone else's, or to have control over the appearance.
Quick test: Is he the right one?
The most important thing in the beginning is to be able to determine whether he is the right one...
Have you thought more deeply about what it is that makes you think a man is the right one?
It may be that what is decisive for you is not just whether he is understanding or not, nor kun, if he treats you with respect…
Rather, it is the sum of several important areas he must fulfill.
See here if you can recognize the reasons why you feel he is the right one or not.
For me, all 3 of them have had a great impact on the longevity of my relationships - i.e. when I first learned to date ;-)
1. Do you like his scent?
After 12 years I know this holds. Because I was immediately physically attracted to my husband and like to be close to him.
The fact that you like the man's fragrances makes it more likely that he matches you, so you don't have to use willpower in the long run when the days of falling in love are over.
2. Is he the right one - among others
Do you like to hear him, see him and experience him when you are out together. I enjoy the way my husband meets friends.
They get the great pleasure of seeing each other again. Who hasn't tried curling toes when he is with family and friends.
It is important
that you are proud of him and can see that he both gives and receives respect. These are good dating signs.
3. Are you going to stay with him?
I often use the 'post-meeting test', immediately I leave a meeting (this does not only apply to the boyfriend).
Because here you get the most honest answer to: How you feel comfortable with yourself and whether he is good for you.
If not… we can tend to analyze ourselves away from something that is not good enough:
"He also said he had had a really stupid day." are typical explanations.
If you have to justify him too much in order for you to feel respected by him, something is wrong here.
With 'the post-meeting test', you can honestly feel:
- whether you feel important and good as who you are?
- feel appreciated?
- experience you as smart, good, funny and just beautiful as you are.
Isn't it just nice to be able to experience yourself as good enough as you are?
Have fun from Liv
Would you like to hear more?
Get love tests in depth on my YouTube channel
Have fun
About John's Life
I am your love therapist coach & relationship expert, blogger and trauma therapist. Finding love has been big for me and I'd love to help you right away. I know nothing better than to help others clear obstacles out of the way so that love becomes a natural part of life. I do that with people from all over the world. Read more: About Life John's
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