How much do you have to fight for a relationship?

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How much do you have to fight for a relationship?

For many, it is like starting a new life when they decide to -perhaps at long last- find love.

Further doubts arise if love life has been a challenge until now. Here it can seem almost insurmountable to put yourself in the vulnerable situation it can be to seek out love.

Isn't a girlfriend too troublesome?

So why do it? A brave woman, Carina who is in her early 40s, provides some of the answer. She says that she has lived a life full of freedom and self-expression, but now she feels a longing for something deeper. How can she take the step towards finding love and creating a life now that the longing for twoness has become greater than the resistance?

Whenever I asked her what she hoped to achieve by finding a boyfriend, she answered: A better and more supportive network. In addition to the fact that it was very sincerely said, we also agreed that it was a vulnerable starting point to have to find a girlfriend.

Because if the boyfriend were to help her manage her own life, there was a risk of creating an unhealthy dependency – which could quickly turn into a feeling that she had met the wrong person.

When the past blocks

Because she has a history of feeling left out due to bullying, she has a fear of socializing. Therefore, she is well aware that she has to develop the social gene. Not least when it comes to the social, as it is one of the most important ingredients for a good and long-lasting relationship.

How much do you have to fight for a relationship?

For Carina, it was crucial to be able to balance fighting for a relationship with being able to accept the things she is aware of that are beyond her power to change. She sets out to solve this by spending time on getting the social network she dreams of, so that all the energy is not spent on finding the boyfriend.

She participates in the social events, which at first are not experienced as crossing the line.

The people at work she likes and is comfortable with, she takes the initiative to arrange social events with. It's everything from a cozy dinner at home, a picnic in the park, a walk or a joint activity.

By hosting social events herself, she gets to develop her social skills as much as possible, and at the same time as she meets new people, she strengthens existing relationships.

She thinks it's fun and exciting as long as she gets help with it. And she accepts that this is the entrance to a healthy and wonderful long-term relationship.

Create a safe environment

She also finds places and groups where she feels safe and accepted. These are FB groups, support groups, therapy sessions and activities where the focus is on creating a positive and supportive environment.

Development takes time

By doing something to develop the social network herself, she increases her social self-confidence. She even ends up rethinking the experience of not being social and realizes that if the pace isn't too fast, fear won't steal her social skills. She gets to build a nice and supportive network and also increases and finds that her relationship's self-esteem only grows.

Whatever your challenge, you can do the same - at your own pace.

Love Life

 

Would you like to join a community with other women who are also looking for love...

then I will invite you to join my FB group, where you can hear about

How to go from hating to loving dating
How to let go of the past.
How you can heal wounds and difficult feelings
How you can believe in love - again.

Turn down the pity, auntie: I'll find the right one

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Turn down the pity, auntie: I'll find the right one.

Who hasn't come across borderline single experiences, even if they are well-intentioned comments

such as: "You will probably find the right one" or "It happens when you least expect it".

Well-meaning words can sometimes be frustrating and leave us feeling 'too bad'

or as if: 'there is something wrong with me…?

What would it look like if you took control of Auntie's question in your own love life?

Do you want to join the journey?

We explore how you can have a moving perspective and be open to the unexpected paths of love.

Turn down the pity

Turn Down the Pity: When you hear comments like “There's someone out there for you too,” it can sometimes feel like you're being viewed as incomplete or sick. But you are not sick. You are a unique individual with much to offer. How will it not be that embrace your single life as a time with opportunities for self-development and personal growth.

To be an active seeker

If we want to achieve something, it is crucial to go from being passive to being actively seeking. It gives a sense of control (the good and important) you seek for love. This can mean exploring different options, trying new dating methods, or even thinking outside the box and being open to unexpected connections. Who knows, maybe the right person is right in front of you without you even noticing.

Being active can also mean asking aunt if Is your relationship status important to her?

Do you notice the possibilities?

See the possibilities around you. Sometimes love hides in the most surprising places. Maybe in the doctor's waiting room, or you have an attractive doctor who catches your attention. Instead of dismissing the idea as absurd: So why not be open and curious? Perhaps it is precisely here that you can find a contact that goes beyond the usual.

Do you dare to be open?

Be open to surprises When you turn down the pity and open ourselves to new possibilities, it is important to be open to surprises. Love does not always come in the expected form or from the expected source. By embracing the unexpected and being open to new people and experiences, you can expand your horizons and increase your chances of finding the right love.

 

Ok to set boundaries

The next time you hear the classic comment "You'll probably find the right one", remember to separate yourself from 'auntie'. Embrace your own strength and confidence. You are ok and you don't want pity. You are an independent and attractive person who is able to find the right partner. Let go of doubt and start opening your eyes to the unexpected opportunities that may cross your path.

Let's create a new story together, where you are in control and where love is a natural part of your life. You deserve a meaningful and joyful relationship.