How can I learn to love the 'right' men?

You know those people who keep saying that they always meet the wrong men, that all the good men are already taken, and that being single is just as well? Although we know very well that we can live & survive without love, then it doesn't get the happiness thermometer up and ringing in the same way.

After you have finally gained the courage and energy for a new dating period, you spend it fearing that it will again be the wrong person you meet. The worst is when it's one of those that are particularly hard to get over. The period lasts until the willpower disappears again and the abandonment gets you back on the sofa.

On the sofa it is safe and predictable. Not at all as difficult and hurtful as dating life can be.

Unlucky in love?

The thing is, those who are good at love often stay that way. Or... they quickly find a new good boyfriend, again. Those who can't figure it out, they continue to have challenges, or live in bad conditions. In the old days it was called to be unlucky in love. It was almost like a sticker we got stuck on.

I am one of those people who know that it is ALL about what we have learned. If we have learned that close relationships equal building unloving, rejecting and insecure relationships, then that is what we continue with.

Unfortunate… is a thing of the past

Being unlucky is a thing of the past in my world. After I became aware of what had affected me negatively, I also became aware of what I wanted. Ever since, I have only been concerned with creating the life I want.

Wouldn't it be so much more enriching if you instead spend the time learning, feeling and experiencing even more love in your life?

So you don't give up on love or wear yourself out from the same predictable ups and downs.

Let's find a solution that will last this time.

Welcome to podcast #1 – it's so exciting! Here I help you find the love of The One and Only. So you enjoy someone to spend the holidays with, someone to visit family with and take holidays with. Yes, yes.. the sofa can still be used for a good Netflix movie - together with him.

I'm your host, Liv Johns from Love Fitness, I hope your day gets even more amazing when you hear this.

I have been looking forward to spending time with you today.

It's all about being loved

It's all about being loved. Eh… not quite what you expected? Because you want to feel loved. And to be able to love another.

Being loved is about 2 things

1. the feeling that arises inside you – a warm and perhaps ecstatic feeling
2. that life really is worth living. Even fun, happy and exciting

By practicing – and indirectly unlearning the negative pattern – you will learn the following:

1. that you don't always need to be trapped by the past - for example after failure it is often disappointment, anger and frustration that we get activated
2. your own journey suddenly becomes more important… than the date you have to meet tomorrow 'is something for you'. THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC ARISES, BECAUSE THE FEELINGS THAT ARE ACTIVATED HERE ARE ALSO THOSE THAT ARISE IN LOVE

When the new feels wrong

The start of this journey can feel so new and unusual that something in you will bristle against it.

It is very natural and a human reaction.

So that's why it's about training your brain to CREATE a new love pattern. Because it only repeats the old pattern, as long as that is all we tell that love is about! It is now time for you to teach it that love is more about joy than that it often ends in pain. So start training it in the love you so want to achieve.

Correct you can meet your twin soul tomorrow, but when the old negative love pattern is activated, we come up with something that is not good enough. Or we invent diagnoses for him. For example, I thought my ex was a psychopath 😉 Today I don't care what he was...

So here's a technique you can practice

Here's what you can do

The better you are at maintaining care for yourself regardless of what you say, do or whether you fail, the easier it becomes to contain yourself and experience that you are already, in this moment, good enough.

When you start to get hold of that part, it is a good reminder that you want more love in your life and therefore you can RIGHT NOW in this moment start loving yourself.

You can do it like this:

1. Take a deep breath
2. Notice that right now you can put the trials of the day away - notice the often-occurring sigh of relief.
3. Feel how the shoulders relax
4. Keep your focus in the heart. Feel the warmth of the heart and how the heart works for you.
5. Let your heart open: Imagine, you are ready for anything the goode world will give you. Breathe in and out
6. Breathe in a little deeper. Exhale… what you no longer want… Let go.
7. Put your hand on your heart. Say: “I love you.” Notice the heat that spreads…
8. Now take your last breath and when you are ready to return to the world again you will see the world through more loving eyes than you started.

Imagine that love is not so difficult anymore and you can enjoy life... with yourself... with whomever you want, where you want it and when you want it.

Sending you love on your journey, Liv