You might be wondering

• Whether your single status has anything to do with the past?
• How should you handle your dating challenges?
• Whether it is attachment trauma that prevents you from having a good relationship?
• Why does it not one, what you do, do not manage to find the right one?

So read here… 

- what does attachment trauma mean?

– what you can do to get out of it

After reading the blog…

Can you better understand what can prevent you from finding love.

Why do I have so many relationship problems?

If you've struggled with a series of intensely volatile relationships, you may be wondering:

What is the reason for that?

Here, a deeper answer may be that an attachment trauma is activated unconsciously,

and causes problems in your close and current relationships.

If you repeat the same negative patterns, then it is worth looking into whether you have attachment trauma.

It is characteristic of trauma that we automatically replay it

and that we only realize this afterwards.

How did it start?

As a child, frightening or dangerous relationship experiences with parents may have made you

being afraid to enter into intimate relationships as an adult.

In family therapy, I have seen young people break their fingers,

when they have to tell the parents how it feels to not be seen and heard.

It can also be experiences with the ex that have left deep traces.

So instead of being sure that you are attracting the right ones based on a

safe and healthy place within yourself, you may end up doing the opposite.

For example, a man who ignores us, as father did.

So how can you form warm and secure bonds as an adult?

First, let's look at what an attachment trauma is.

What is attachment trauma?

Attachment trauma is a term that is often thrown around in our cultural

What exactly is it?

How can attachment trauma affect intimate relationships today?

A trauma means a psychological wound. It occurs when your nervous system is overwhelmed by a life-threatening,

frightening or dangerous event. And it can set in as an automatic reaction pattern,

Every time something like this happens, it can be overwhelming and overwhelming.

Therefore, the current event is experienced as just as 'dangerous' / unsafe as 'back then'

Trauma: when your nervous system is overwhelmed as a result of a life-threatening, frightening or dangerous event.

How do you get out of it?

If you find that just being in a relationship can feel unsafe, you can work on it yourself.

- see below what you can do and which precautions are important.

If you are struggling with a major attachment trauma, you are doing yourself a huge favor by getting help.

So you, right now, can improve your ability to be in or develop a relationship.

If you are in a relationship, couples therapy can be effective in resolving attachment trauma.

“There is no better place to heal than in the arms of someone you love. "

Do you keep doing what isn't working?

If you are like many people, you may not have realized

that what is at the root of your problems is insecure attachment.

I am writing this blog to reassure you to understand,

that there are good reasons why you and others behave the way they do.

At one point, you did the best you could to protect yourself.

These are just not strategies that are beneficial to a relationship.

Many who find it difficult to find the right one, struggle deep down with,

that it simply feels too dangerous to enter into a relationship.

So instead of struggling with it for years and spending a lot of energy trying to get into a relationship,

you really do not dare to enter into, it is better to solve this.

So you know you can be sure that you can have a healthy relationship.

Which of the three self-defense strategies do you usually use?

A good place to start is to notice what self-defense strategy you use when you are triggered

Can you recognize one or more of the following?

1. Are you a fighter who wants to fight, and fight it until it's solved?
2. Do you tend to run away when things get tough?
3. Or are you freezing and don't know what to say or do?

If you feel like you are struggling with attachment challenges…

Try to imagine how it will improve your life if you change one of the above attachment patterns?

• Would it be easier for you to trust and fall in love?
• Would it be easier for you to maintain a calm and stable mood?
• Would you like to experience more freedom compared to just being yourself?

Remember that your safety is always the top priority. It is number 1 for daring to stay.

Here's what you can do

If you think there is a minor relationship pattern that you just weren't aware of, you can build basic trust by

1. make sure to prevent overstimulation – i.e. that your dates should feel safe, predictable. Please make a time frame
2. Be sure to deal with it when the problem does arise and
3. Make sure you have time to regain your inner peace and balance afterwards.
4. Be aware that you know your needs, so that it is not the man's needs that you focus on
5. Take the conflicts, but do it in edible chunks - so it doesn't overwhelm you. You become more confident, strong and happy when you stand by yourself.

PS Be aware that if you yourself enter into a major attachment trauma, it can bring very painful,

difficult feelings for you.

Ask yourself if it is loving to be burdened by it for years. Instead, it can take weeks or months with the right help.

If you experience a psychological emergency, seek help.

It is important that you seek professional help from a trained trauma therapist so that you do not get worse.

you can read more about trauma here 

 

Congratulations on reading the blog, so you show yourself,

that you will do what you can to give yourself a life of love

Life