My ex left me suddenly in Fælledparken. I sat in shock. Just him, activated such violent unrequited love that I could barely go to work for the next ½ year. Now I know that it was an attachment trauma I was triggered.

Is that you?

Can you recognize it? When you miss a boyfriend, you think at the same time that it shouldn't be...

a narcissist, someone who manipulates, or someone who doesn't respect you.

What if…

How would it be if instead you just look forward to meeting your next man?

Where you think the right people are contacting you. Where you can look back on some really fun and cozy dates.

Where you focus most on getting to know each other and developing your relationship.

So read here… 

– This is how you learn to let go and separate yourself from past bad events

- How by spotting your own condition with care you can make it easier to let go of the ex

– a surprising thing you can do right now

After reading the blog…

My intention with the blog is to give you an experience of,

that you can do something to end the ex, or other bad relationship experiences

When the relationship is over

A relationship ends for reasons that you can spend a lot of time recovering from afterwards.

Have you tried to get absorbed in analyzing 'why it didn't work'?

Perhaps to such an extent that you forget: "Right now, you are actually living in the past."

Other times, you can't imagine that a new man doesn't have to look like the ex.

Did you give the relationship too many tries?

Sometimes we force ourselves to give the relationship another try.

It could mean that the problems you experienced in the relationship remained unresolved –

inside you.

It can lead to a second breakdown, which is worse and more painful than the first.

This particular state of feeling can be so difficult that many people never really get out of it again

That's why I want to share with you what you can do to let go of your ex.

Self care is the answer

Daily self-care has a calming, healing and restorative effect.

When you create a strong and safe foundation to completely let go of the ex,

is easier to find the love you long for.

Surrender to the present

There can be sadness in saying goodbye to the past. In recognizing that it didn't work out between you and your boyfriend.

Or that you did not previously have the necessary learning to succeed in a relationship.

That's what you're about to learn now.

Remind yourself of..

Often the hardest thing about a breakup is not the breakup itself, but the thoughts about it all:

There could have been

Love yourself for all that you learned from the relationship. All that you can now take with you to your next relationship.

You can learn to contain the feeling

Learn to contain and release the inner pain instead of avoiding it.

How? By taking one step at a time.

It is a beautiful, deep and healing experience to release the pain instead of avoiding it.

When the pain came, everything seemed unbearable.

This often causes us to shut down our emotions.

As you heal the wounds, you can gradually open up and feel alive again.

Use these 3 principles

1. create 'islands' of security in your everyday life that you can 'land' on after you have had contact with the inner sea of pain:

For example, a daily walk, soothing music, creative activities, conversations with near and dear ones, edifying reading, etc.

 

2. feel the pain in small manageable chunks, a little bit at a time – the sadness, the helplessness, the despair, the abandonment. Then step back from the emotions and return to a positive and calming activity.

 

3. share some of the experience of mental pain with others. Only to the extent that it feels ok. Trauma is often linked to loneliness, everything we have gone through alone. Therefore, it is an important process to share – in moderation. This is essential in order not to retraumatize.

If your family, partner or friends cannot understand you, seek professional help

Right now you have the opportunity to move forward, rather than isolating yourself.